“Someone was hurt before you, wronged before you, hungry before you, frightened before you, beaten before you, humiliated before you, raped before you…yet, someone survived…You can do anything you choose to do.” – Maya Angelou

Your past does not have to define you, however so often we let. We allow it to dictate who we “think” we are and what we do. Typically, at an unconscious level our past guides what we think, do, and say unbeknownst to us. But, the only real way to overcome your past is to get to the ROOT of it.

The key is to let your PAST come out of you! The more you hold it in, the longer you suffer and feel stuck, unworthy, and unloved. [Click to Tweet]

Maya Angelou said it best:

“There is no greater agony then carrying an untold story inside of you.”

Did you know that Maya was sexually abused as a young girl at 8 years old. Shortly after, she told her family members what had happened to her and the next day she learned that the man, her mother’s boyfriend, who had violated her was found dead. For a few years following this incident, she went mute. She didn’t talk for FIVE years. Maya Angelou in all of her wisdom and poetic glory did not talk. This was the point in her life when she realized how powerful “words” could truly be. She thought her words had killed the man! She eventually started speaking again to her brother Bailey, and girl am I glad she did because she has given us some of the most profound phrases, quotes, and insights through her own words!

The point is that Maya learned a few valuable lessons, which are that what we speak and let out are powerful. They can have a negative or positive effect, but either way they take the burden off of oneself from suffering in silence. Believe it or not, when you walk around holding pain and the past in, it shows! It is reflected in your aura and others can tell even if you say nothing.

It is your responsibility to set your own self FREE. We are all fighting our own battles, and if we’re not careful we will overlook our own mess in favor of thinking someone else has it worst then you. We are all given our own set of challenges to overcome.

You know what yours are.  Acknowledge Them. Deal with Them. Heal Them. Evolve to the next stage in your own life as a happy, healthy, healed, and whole woman.

A woman can never be complete if she is broken and her past has yet to be healed. [Click to tweet]

Here are 3 major ways to move forward from allowing the past to hold you hostage:

  1. Write or Paint Your Pain Away

Get a cute journal and write out your feelings. Get a canvas and paint your sorrow. Get some paper and pen a song. Get in some yoga pants and stretch your pain away. Whatever brings you joy and happiness, use that medium to release your past.

2.  Get Counseling or Therapy

Find a trusted counselor or therapist in your area and set up several sessions. Be honest. Be open. Allow them to guide you. All you are doing is talking. They are not there to change you or call you ‘crazy.’ They are there solely for your healing and restoration. They don’t know you so they can see parts of you that you do not see…lucky you! Take advantage of this often.

3. Make Peace with Your Past

Consider the impact of your upbringing. Your first teachers and examples on life and love come from your parents. Your parents too, are imperfect. They too have a past. There past too followed them when they raised you unless they consciously dealt with there own mess. If not, then likely their mess has influenced your life in more ways than one. They are not to blame for who you have become, but they certainly have influenced you negatively and positively no matter how amazing they were or were not. Mother Wounds and Father Wounds are real. Discover the impact it has on you. Forgive them and forgive yourself and move on.

Regal Resource: Why It’s Crucial to Heal the Mother Wound & Healing Exercises for Daddyless Daughters

“Until you heal the wounds of your past, you are going to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex; But eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, Stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories and make peace with them.” – Iyanla Vanzant