Let me tell you….OPENING up to a man can be hard.
Being yourself in the presence of a man can be hard.
Especially…if you’ve never been in a relationship, haven’t dated in a while, or your past relationship left you hurt.
In my own head, I’ve thought, “damn, I have to date all over again and get to know somebody new.” #aintnobodygottimeforthat
But, it’s a part of LIFE. It’s a part of the process of building ANY relationship.
Even with girlfriends…there has to be a process you go through in order to become BEST friends or for someone to be your favorite cousin or aunt.
You have to be VULNERABLE with them to build trust, loyalty, connection, and even unconditional love…
Vulnerability for me personally is a whole struggle!
I’m an only child. So I generally don’t like sharing.
I’m a Scorpio (if you down with astrology). So I’m pretty intense and intuitive so I can sense a person’s vibes from a mile away.
Growing up my dad was my best bud, but when he and my mother broke up when I was about 5…girl, my little heart just sank and I ended up in counseling because from that point on I had a hard time opening up to people especially boys eventually men.
Being vulnerable feels so EXPOSED and PUBLIC. Like they can see in to you and because we worry so much about what people think, and if it will be good enough—it seems so hard!
However, if you really want to be loved and/or really want to fulfill your purpose, you really do have to learn how to be okay with showing up and being seen and being heard.
VULNERABILITY is the secret to CONNECTION.
Life is not easy…it gets messy. Nobody is perfect so we have to OPEN up or we will never have the love we desire.
You as much as anyone deserved to be LOVED. But, no man, woman, or even child can love you wholeheartedly if you are too scared to let them in.
Yes, being vulnerable can hurt. If you get hurt, then that means you LEARN from that experience and move on to the next. Don’t close your heart. It will cause you to continue struggling with love and even life at times.
Be more VULNERABLE by using these tips:
- Own your struggle with vulnerability. Admit the truth. Say, “I have a hard time opening up. I struggle with being vulnerable. I am afraid of getting hurt…or being judged…or being misunderstood…or being rejected.” When we tell the truth, we get closer to accepting ourselves flaws and all.
- State that you are scared, mad, angry, sad, disappointed, worried, nervous, etc. We have all felt this way…so anybody can related to these feelings.
- Take small steps to decrease your fear. Set a small intention like, when he asked me how my day is tomorrow I will tell him the truth instead of just saying, “It was good” or send an email to a potential mentor who can help you launch your business, lose weight, or get a promotion…take small steps!
- Give yourself permission to be vulnerable, and literally say it aloud, “I give myself permission to open up again,” or “I give myself permission to be vulnerable.”
Then remember this quote by Alfred Lord Tennyson: “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
P.S. If you need to work on this more, be sure to join my free upcoming masterclass on men & relationships. Learn more and Register here: www.unleashyourfierce.com/love
P.P.S. Here is a “Vulnerability Script” you could use or edit to share with a man in your life:
“Like I want to fully open myself up to you and I want to give you my heart and make love to you but I am scared of getting hurt and being abandoned bc we barely talk or spend quality time together and I’ve never experienced that before with someone I liked. I refuse to settle for something less than what I deserve. I can’t do a part time relationship with part time benefits. It just doesn’t feel good to me.”