Whew! Girl, I know that there is no way you haven’t heard about Jada and Will. It’s time for us to pull out the PINK TABLE though (girl, we are not doing RED over here in the FIERCE Squad)
Regardless of how you feel about the recent situation that has been brought to light. Every single one of us has a “little Jada” inside of us. The unhealed little girl inside that is operating as the grown woman, but making choices based on her past. We can judge her or we can join in on the self reflection process and go within.
Note: I’m not justifying Jada’s behavior at all. I want us to take the lessons we can from what is being presented to us in this moment.
1) Your wounds will always show up when they are unresolved
It doesn’t matter how glamorized you are on the outside, your life is a reflection of what occurs on the inside. Doing inner healing work is a LIFELONG commitment. Getting married, obtaining a certain status, or having children does not negate you from this work. In fact, all of those things mentioned actually amplify the work. Your partner or your child is going to reflecting things back to you quicker which will magnify the work you need to do.
2) There is power in OWNING your story
Many people feel like Jada struggled with fully owning what happened when she used the word “entanglement.” However she did use the word properly. A huge part of healing is accepting yourself including your flaws and your perceived mistakes. You can’t fix what you are not ready to face. You always have the power to change the narrative. Take control of it. Never allow anyone else the power to control it. Take ownership of it! She owned it by sharing (what she really didn’t have to) with us on her OWN platform.
3) It is your responsibility to feel good
No one and nothing outside of you is responsible for doing for you what you must first do for yourself. You are responsible for being happy on your own and filling voids that cause you to seek feeling good from people, places, things, and even food. Even Michelle Obama said she went to therapy early in her marriage and was shocked when the therapist challenged her to “make herself happy” and stop being so angry at Barack for not doing that.
4) Relationships and Marriage are work
It is a common misconception that relationships especially marriage is a fairy tale (or at least will be sunshine and roses every second). It is not. It is absolutely beautiful and contrary to popular belief that are some amazing marriages in the world. But it requires work because the purpose of relationships is for you to grow. Both people are constantly evolving, therefore, you must do your own inner healing work and do inner marriage work behind closed doors to sustain the evolution and changes that occur in a lifetime. Working on yourself is a lot. Let’s not act like working on two people isn’t even more challenging, but it can be done! It starts with you though.
BONUS: Have the courage to bring yourself to the table when your old habits, patterns, and beliefs no longer serve you. Confront what needs to be corrected. This takes courage. Like Jada, you might not get it right the first time (in other people’s eyes), but as a humans we have the ability to give ourselves grace and mercy on the journey. It’s what we want to do for ourselves that matter most
Today’s reflection: Bring yourself to the PINK table and ask (or leave COMMENT below)….
-Is the little girl inside of me totally healed?
-When have I ever looked to someone or something else to feel good?
-Do I ever entertain partners because of my own unhealed trauma or unhealed wounds?
-Is my idea of marriage romanticized or overly negative?
-Am I in denial about things I need to take ownership of? (If you believe she didn’t own it)
Check in with you today! If you find that you need more wisdom to process it all. In the words of Ciara, “level up” and get access to my new HEALING GIRL SUMMER BUNDLE for just $20.20 vs. $97. Only 28 left.