It is my Monday night obsession, and one of the few shows I even make time to enjoy. I am not alone. Many of us are tuning into VH1’s hit, Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. We love being entertained by the antics that cover everything but hip-hop and everything wrong with love. No matter how crazy, how staged or how wild the cast gets we stay glued to the TV screen because somewhere inside of us it makes us feel better about ourselves.
It makes us feel as though we are better than them because our lives may not be perfect, but we’re nowhere as jacked as the ones we see before us. But, on the other hand there are some who watch and truly believe this is how life should be lived and this is how love is meant to be.

Whether you are watching to be entertained, watching to connect, or NOT watching because it is beneath you the REAL reason why you are OR are not watching is because the cast members on the show are every bit YOU. Yes, I said it. They are you.

Unconsciously, you are more like Joseline and Mimi then you think. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “um…you’re dead wrong for that! I would never do half of the things either of them have done and…
And…what? Let me explain (in my Kevin Hart voice mixed with my Iyanla “Fix my Life” voice)…
Love & Hip Hop Atlanta feeds our ego of perfection. We see the glam and we are hooked. We see the craziness and we are entertained. Our egos stroked because once again our situation is nowhere near any of the men or women on the show.
It also feeds our tendency to mask all that is wrong within ourselves and instead where a mask of perfection and “everything is good” with us when it is not.

  • For every Joseline (struggling to trust a man ala Stevie J and comfortable stealing a man ala taking him from Mimi) there is one of us who has the same issue.
  • For every Mimi (picking the same type of man over and over and never getting the love you truly deserve ala Stevie J and Niko and even using sex to get attention) there is one of us who has the same issue.
  • For every Karlie Redd (struggling to be with a faithful and devoted man) there is one of us (regardless of age, 20’s 30’s, 40’s, 50’s) who has the same issue.
  • For every Rasheeda (struggling to maintain a marriage with a man who once loved her and was faithful) there is one of us who has the same issue.
  • For every Tammy (struggling to set boundaries, recognize her value, and waiting on a man to marry her) there is one of us who has the same issue.

So for every one of them and other cast members not mentioned, there are a million of us struggling with loving our own damn selves, starving for affection and attention, pushing away intimacy and vulnerability, dying to trust and feel deeply, and seeking true love.

Be it may, the same message the ladies of Love & Hip Hop need to hear is the same message you need to hear and I need to hear: “You are enough. You are worthy. You are valued. You are love.”

If we begin to “OWN’ our truth (tell yourself the truth about yourself) then we begin to get what we want from life and love. The more we stuff it down, mask it, put band aids on it, cover it with men of low value and relationships birthed out of our desperate need to feel loved and our fear of being abandoned the more we silently suffer in unworthiness, unloveable-ness, and invaluable-ness.

So grab a notebook or piece of paper and begin writing….The truth is __________________________ (you fill in the blanks about how you feel and what the REAL truth is about you). Dig Deep. Then OWN all of it…even the stuff so scary you wouldn’t want anyone else to know about you! Feel every emotion that comes out from this and do this exercise over and over until you feel like you have been set FREE. Watch your life change rather then watch the lives of others unfold unbeknownst to the secret power that comes from telling the stone cold truth about ourselves.

Let me know how this works for you.