Black_Health_is

Dear sister (We’re both human and therefore, related. Welcome to the family!),

Everyone had so much advice for me when I graduated college: live your dreams, don’t settle, hustle hard, etc. Now the Internet seems to be full of “useful” (please note the quotation marks) advice for 20-somethings. Some of this guidance is really good stuff. Some of it leaves me feeling like something’s missing. I haven’t yet reached the midway mark on my 20s but already I feel like life has taught me so many truths about this decade of transition. Maybe you can relate. Maybe you will look sympathetically on my confusion and remember your 20s. Regardless, the 20s is a prime decade to take the beginner steps toward the woman you want to be. So here’s what I’ve learned (and what I hope to learn one day):

Truth #1: I have to start making big girl decisions soon. Am I ready for this?

Half of my friends are getting married and having babies. The other half is nose to the grind on their careers. I’m in the middle, wondering what sacrifice to make if I truly can’t grow both to their respective potentials. It’s nerve-wracking. What’s so wrong with wanting to stay home and raise a family? Why must a woman explain her choice to focus on her career over a family life?

What I hope to learn: I hope to know myself so well that making decisions, whether family-oriented or career-oriented, will become easier and more supportive of the lifestyle I choose. We shouldn’t have to apologize for choosing and pursuing what we want.

Truth #2: I have no idea where my life is headed.

Should I pursue different career opportunities? Should I go back to school? Should I start dating now? Am I ready to date? Was mom right (Hint: she usually is)?The list of questions in my head goes on and on…

What I hope to learn: I hope to become comfortable being uncomfortable. I won’t know what the end of the staircase holds until I take a step.

Truth #3: I’m going to make a bunch of mistakes. Some of them stupid.

I seem more aware of the mistakes that I make than ever before. Now I recognize my mistakes as I make them! I tend to want to beat myself up but when you know better, you do better. I want to grow and be a better woman – I just wish I didn’t have to make so many mistakes along the way.

What I hope to learn: I hope to anticipate mistakes before I make them and learn from the ones I’ve already made. It’s no fun being a repeat offender.

I hope these truths resonate with you. I also hope if you’re a 20-something, you know how amazing you are and how much life is left in front of you. Be bold.

With love,

Janicia

P.S. My Regal Resource is twenty1plus.com, an awesome new blog about two 20-somethings (Pssst, one of them is me!) trying to navigate this world through faith and with our heads on straight. Come for the ride!