Short Answer: YES! Long Answer: Keep Reading….

Scandal really heated up this past week. I admit I am a Scandal fan. It is not a guilt pleasure by any means. I am not ashamed to say I watch a show where the main character (of color!) is a powerful, confident, independent woman by day and a vulnerable mistress (of the President) by night for several reasons.

Is Olivia Pope doing wrong? Yes! But, I am conscious enough to know that this is entertainment. The name of the show says it all–what were we expecting?

But, don’t we all do wrong at some point? In order to get to the place where we are confident enough and conscious enough to understand what is right, and the need to change  does not happen overnight. I know it didn’t work like that for me at least. But, Liv has some harsh competitors out there nevertheless. I’m not judging them though! Sadly, enough some people will think it is ok. News Flash: It’s not! But, that will not stop me or Fitz (lol) from liking Olivia Pope.

On last week’s episode, Olive Pope tells Fitz that if he really wants her then he needs to EARN HER!

Either red flags pop up or a round of applause came out after hearing this.

Red Flag: When you earn yourself (by loving yourself and believing in yourself), no man will have to earn you, he will choose you on his own merit not because you ask him to. If a man really wants a woman he will put in the time and the effort…point blank, period! This is something Fitz can’t do as a married man on the show. There is no way he could possibly give you all the time and effort due to his marital status and job. So, why stoop so low?

Here is a video I watched on the, What About Our Daughter’s Facebook Page, where Brooke Brimm of www.lovesgumbo.com  argues the same thing. If you love yourself and pick yourself first THEN find a man who choose you, you won’t need to make a request.

Who wants to request a man anyway? Who really wants to ask a man to earn them? If he really wants you in the first place then when he approaches you he will come correct in the beginning! If not, he is not worth your time.

Am I mad at my favorite character for saying this (Earn Me)? No!

Would I say this a man? Hell No!

Why? I know that this is entertainment. Shonda didn’t write this show to empower me. She wrote it to entertain me at the end of the day. Empowerment comes from within not material things, media, or men![Tweet This!] I don’t expect Scandal to teach me how to be with a man.

But, should a man earn you? No, he shouldn’t earn you. But, he should put in work to get you (ie. time and effort). He should demonstrate a level of commitment and dedication to being in your life. If you pick wisely you will never need to ask a man to earn you because he will have already proven himself.

This is a lesson that girls and women must learn on their own through their mentors, families, life experiences, and educational programs.  

In short: Olivia Pope is a fictional character with real life characteristics and experiences. This is why so many people are drawn to her and this show. On the surface she is a confident woman, but deep down inside she is a woman who has fallen in love with a man at the wrong time.

Is she the first to do such a thing? Nope! Is she the first to be in love with the wrong man? Nope!

Do I think some women will think this is okay to do in real life? Yes!

Do I feel sorry for them? Yes

Why? Because if you think that is not just entertainment and you believe it is okay then you still have quiet a bit of work to do on yourself before you can claim: confident woman status or even say you have arrived!


I want to hear from you?

  • Does a man have to earn you?
  • Should we depend on TV shows to teach us how to be in the world?
  • Are you a Scandal fan, what are your thoughts?