african american woman with baby girl working from home
When you are putting yourself last that means you are subconsciously telling yourself that you don’t matter as much as much as everything else in your life. Ironically, this makes you less happy, less productive, less disciplined, and more prone to feeling resentment, anger, stress, and unworthiness.Stop putting yourself last by making a decision to add yourself to your to-do list. Adding in “me time” to your calendar in between meetings, dates, dropping off your children, going to family outings, meeting up with friends, etc. If it isn’t scheduled, it’s not real.

Taking a note from the most successful people in the world, those who are able to truly live a life they love (ie. Oprah and Beyoncé) have schedules. They don’t wake up and just let the day go as they please.

The truth is…

Yes, she is famous so she has more money than you. But, she is still human. She is still a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and how could I forget a total BOSS at her life calling and purpose. You don’t just wake up one day and say “I’m going to drop an album” even if it appeared that way…Bey had a plan. She had a vision. She drop that album strategically while still managing to be a good wife to Jay-Z and a good mom to Blue Ivy while also taking time for herself.At the end of last year she released “Yours and Mine” a video where she completes an entire 12 minute self-reflection about her life. This video journal is every part of self-care and excellent way to connect with oneself. It is truly a healing experience, but also an opportunity to focus on numero uno: YOURSELF.

Without a doubt, I am sure she scheduled time to record, edit, and produce this video. Which is no different from how you must purposefully plan to include yourself into your own life. Schedule it. Rearrange your life to include new routines and create new rituals to follow daily. It’s no way Bey can “do it all” and “have it all” without some type of routine in place. So discipline yourself (for example):

  • Wake up 30 mins earlier to mediate or pray
  • Allot a certain time frame everyday to exercising
  • Devote Saturday mornings to reading
  • Schedule a babysitter for every Thursday from 7pm-9pm to allot time to pamper yourself a the nail salon or hair salon
  • Add in “self-care” dates at the beginning of every month on your calendar. Commit to them by not scheduling anything during that time.
  • Spend 15 mins before bed journaling every night
  • Take the additional time to lotion your entire body from head to toe in the morning
  • Pray in the shower to maximize your time in the mornings
  • Plan and prep for the next day the night before to give yourself more “me time” in the morning
  • Plan a “me time” weekend every month and go away even if it is a hotel in your area, and even if it is just one night there–go for it!
  • Start telling more people “NO” more. Guard your time!
  • Get an accountability partner. Ask a friend or your significant other to hold you accountable. Ask your man: “Honey, can you do me a favor? I have a hard time relaxing sometime. So I need your help. Can you gently remind me to take a break in a few hours if I’m still working? Can you give me a massage later tonight? Can you watch the kids while I run to the nail salon?” [Mature, high quality men love to feel needed and want you to feel happy!]
Maya Angelou said it best, “Nothing will work, unless you do.” This of course takes time. It takes practice. You may fail at it several times but don’t give up . Try again. Remember this:
Your ability to focus on yourself more won’t happen overnight. It will be a gradual process of crossing over to this new lifestyle. Nevertheless, you ultimate have to DECIDE that you are sick and tired of putting yourself “LAST” and then take action.

By continuing to only do for yourself when you “feel” like it, you will continually fail to put yourself first until you are more disciplined with how you run your day to day life. So consciously add yourself to your to-do list for maximum results.

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