upsetwomen

“Bag lady you gone hurt your back
Dragging all them bags like that
I guess nobody ever told you
All you must hold on to
Is you, is you, is you”
-Erykah Badu

Eykah Badu said it best when she sang that song!

What are you still holding on to that is weighing you down?

Baggage- Any unresolved issue that you are carrying around within yourself that causes insecurity, doubt, fear, worry, anger, resentment, or any other negative emotion.

Baggage is HEAVY! It is a heavy load. It is also a load that seeps out from within us. Others can see, feel, and sometimes even taste our baggage a mile away. It keeps some at a distance, however in other cases, it allows us to attract others with the same type of baggage such as men and relationships or behaviors in the people we interact with. Like attracts like.

However, our baggage is a wake-up call for us to heal and evolve to the next level. You can’t possibly become the woman you desire to be or were destined to be by staying where you are.

We all have baggage and we all have issues that we need to deal with. What are yours? What are you carrying around? What is weighing you down?

If this year is to be any different from the rest, then you have to LET GO!

Create a list of all of your:

  • Unresolved Issues
  • Childhood Wounds (mother, father, family members)
  • Fears
  • Resentments
  • Old ties (ex-lovers, old friendships, etc)
  • Old Agreements (things you’ve agreed to carry with you everywhere you go such as negative self-talk you tell yourself or comments others have told you ie. I’m ugly. I’m the big girl, etc.)

Perfect example from actress and talk show host of The Real, Tamera Mowry-Housley acknowledging and releasing an old agreement she had from her youth.

Tamera recalls receiving fan mail when she did the show Sister, Sister with her twin Tia. During her show, she breaks into tears discussing the fans comments that she was “cute” and “goofy.” Whereas her twin was seen as the “sexy” one of the pair.

She stated, “I used to read our fan mail all the time. That’s what I used to get all the time when I was 16 years old, and I kept it,” she said through tears. “Going to college, I carried that.”

The other ladies on the show, The Real continue with their “baggage” stories that they have learned to let go of such as Lonnie Love feeling insecure about how she dresses as a plus size woman to Adrienne Baillone discussing how she tied her self-worth to her career success.

These women were bold and brave for sharing this on live, national TV.

In order to start freeing yourself, you must realize the first step is acknowledging the TRUTH. The list I mentioned above is an excellent way to let everything out. It is imperative that you set aside some “me time” for that exercise.

You should know that we are not in this life to suffer or wallow in our baggage. We are here to become who we were destined to be.

In the feminine process of “becoming” we must endure battles, drop baggage, and begin the process of loving, accepting, and owning our true selves. Who we become may not be what others want to see. But, it is what is true for us.

In an effort to release this baggage, one of the most self-loving practices to do is to write a letter to God in which you forgive yourself.

Forgive yourself for allowing the baggage to weigh down and allowing yourself to believe that you were anything but beautifully and wonderfully made.

None of us are perfect but we are  perfectly made and we are each here for us a reason. Do yourself a loving favor and release any anger, resentment, hurt, pain, old agreements, fears, worries, etc that hold you back from living your best life.

Examples to include in your letter:

  •  For worrying
  •  For thinking I’m not good enough
  •  For doubting my skills and abilties
  •  For not loving my hair, skin tone, and body
  •  For not believing I could be loved unconditionally
  •  For failing to see my own unique beauty
  •  For getting into the same relationships over and over again
  •  For emotional eating and not loving myself more
  •  For trying to control everything
  •  For trying to be perfect all of the time
  •  For trying to be what I am now
  •  For believing that I have to be ….
  •  For not taking risks because of fear
  •  For not investing in myself
  •  For thinking I am inferior and unworthy
  •  For believing that no one would ever love me
  •  For thinking it is something wrong with me because…

After completing your letter, place it in a safe and sacred place where you can look back on in times when these feelings pop up again.

Reply: I Want to Know:

  • Will you write the “forgiveness” letter?
  • What is something that is difficult for you to let go?
  • What other support do you need to help you release your baggage?
  • Share your experience writing the letter