A few months ago, after I did a speaking engagement I looked at a picture of myself and I was like oh shoot I can see my weight coming back. I had worked my behind off to lose 60 pounds just two years before. But, as I looked at that picture standing next to the other speaker at the event. I knew good and well I wasn’t posting that to Instagram or Facebook. LOL! I felt embarassed. I felt ashamed. I felt upset. How on earth did I let this happen? Again….
Body shame is real! You know what I mean.
When you look in the mirror and think “mmmmmmm….this hair is a hot mess,” “back then I was smaller and the way my stomach is set up now these jeans don’t fit,” “I’m not good enough because I am darker then all of my friends,” “my teeth need to be fixed before I can even date again” or “I hate when I get compliments because I really don’t feel it inside.”
What do you tell yourself when you look in the mirror?
What do you whisper to yourself when you see other women you deem more attractive then you?
What are you thinking as you do a last minute glimpse at yourself before you leave home?
Is it positive? Is it loving? Is it caring? Is it compassionate? Is it considerate?
What you are telling yourself is what others will believe about you. There will always be exceptions.
But, regardless of society’s standards or unfair stereotypes, you are responsible for the narrative you tell yourself about yourself.
No one can make you feel fat, ugly, or unpretty without your consent.
Regardless of where you are right now with your body, it is important to realize that living in the past of what your body use to be is avoiding the beauty you currently embody. But, if you’re living in the future of what your body should be then you are causing yourself unnecessary anxiety.
To love your body as it is right now in this moment, you need to be PRESENT with it. If you live in the present, only there will you find peace.
In fact, your body has been waiting for you! Waiting for you to recognize that regardless of how you look.
You are divine. You are beautiful. You are fabulous.
Become friends with your body!
“When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.”
― Diane Von Furstenberg
Healing Work: I urge you to get out a journal and write down your “body journey” where you pinpoint the time periods when you have most disliked parts of your body/beauty.
Indicate what was going on in your life at the time…
Could it have been a legit reason for a change such as a pregnancy or sexual abuse that caused weight gain? Or could it be that someone made a comment and you have unconsiously carried it like “dark girls are ugly?” or “your sister is the prettier one, or “tall girls never get men?” “Or could it be that you just want to fit in so you use make-up to cover up? Or you use food as a filler for intimacy or smoking which damages your teeth to numb some pain? Or do you just hate your nose or your thighs because someone else in your family had them?
After you do that, go do a “google search” for women who have the same struggle as you. Search for blogs, images, success stories, social media accounts (and follow them), support websites, and so on. What I want you to know is that you are not alone.
Someone came before you, who struggled in the same way, and overcame it.
If she can, so can you. When another women is confident and empowered, it gives other women permission to do the same. Be empowered by someone else’s story and someone else’s light.
For example, I have a curvy body type. So I follow women such as my girl and plus side model (@gabifresh) because she gives me life! Lol! Regardless of what size I am, her confidence will be contagious. She is my #bodyconfidencecrush.
Who might yours be?
All in all, be PRESENT in this moment with your body and who you are. Love yourself as you are. Your confidence will be contagious to another woman who needs to see you winning as you are.
Love your body. Forgive yourself. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself. Rock what you got. Style yourself fiercely. Play up your strengths. Provide yourself with pleasure and not punish yourself with yo-yo dieting. Enhance your beauty with make-up, but don’t go overboard. Embrace your uniqueness. Dress up your body type. Ditch the scale and get into your feelings more. Fill your life with images, quotes, and videos of women who look like you and love themselves…they are everywhere you just need to find them. Work what God gave you (especially weight because it will come and it will go). Stay in the mirror longer and talk to yourself like you love yourself.
Then and only then when you have shown compassion and understanding for yourself, will you learn to accept yourself as you are, others will respect your for who you be, and you will shine and glow!
Comment Below- I Want to Know:
- What resonated most for you?
- What holds you back from loving your body more?
- What additional support do you need to love your body more?
- Who is your #bodyconfidencecrush
If you want to stay motivated, uplifted, and empowered:
1.Get my FREE Confidence E-Book here. Learn five techniques to upgrade your mindset, lifestyle, and improve your confidence.
2. Take the Confidence Type Quiz here to discover what type of woman you are. There are three main types, but one you should be operating from most of the time to live a regal, confident, and empowered life.
3.Get your copy of The Ultimate Self-Love Journal here for a 31 day journey to falling in love with yourself and your life again. Includes: daily journaling prompts to help you gain clarity, confidence and courage + weekly e-mails from me to hold you accountable for committing to your self-love journey. It is an immediate download.
4. Get a customized confidence blueprint here that details how you can change your thoughts and implement new actions to believe in yourself more, upgrade your confidence, and enjoy being in the skin you are in more!