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In an image-obsessed society like the one we live in, it is easy to feel insecure or inferior when compared to the picture-perfect models and celebrities whose photos that we constantly encounter in our daily lives, like Beyonce’s perfect body and dance moves on that popular music video or Kerry Washington’s extra laid hair, make-up and outfits on “Scandal,” for example. You might even be comparing yourself to your own friends and coworkers who seem to just “have it all together.” It can feel overwhelming to try and keep up the perfect hair, make-up, shoes, clothes, car, job, relationship, workout regimen, etc. You ask yourself, “How do they do it all?”

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As 21st century women, we often put so much pressure on ourselves to always have everything together All. Of. The. Time. And if we fall short, we verbally beat ourselves up for not being perfect. But it’s high time to stop the self-doubt and self-hate, and start appreciating our own strengths, talents, and quirks. Here are some ways to beat insecurity, self-doubt, and inferiority when you don’t feel so “picture perfect” in a seemingly perfect world.

1. Be your own best friend. Don’t wait on someone else to tell you that you are pretty, smart, or worthy, or for someone else to make you feel special. Tell yourself that you are beautiful. Buy yourself something nice. Value your own ideas and opinions without validation from others. While the love and adoration of our peers is definitely nice, it is steady, daily self-love that is going to carrying you and helps eliminate insecurities long-term.

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2. Don’t be afraid to fail. We are not perfect. I know, it sucks. It would be great if we were all Superwoman and we could get everything done and look flawless while doing it. But that’s just not reality. We fail. We make mistakes. We misjudge. We fall short sometimes. We don’t always make the cut. But that’s okay. Let every experience be a building block for your future success instead of another reason that you tear yourself down. As Thomas Edison once said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Ha, great way to look at it.

3. Remember how far you have come. A lot of times, we look at where we are right now, and far that is from where we want to be, and get discouraged. “I’m still working at this job.” “My hair is only this long.” “I only have this much in my savings account.” But remember when you were working the job with the horrible hours and even lower pay? Remember when you first chopped your hair off and felt insecure about your tweeny weeny fro? Remember when your balance was negative in your bank account?  And look how far you’ve come since then. You may not be at the top of the mountain but you sure aren’t at the bottom, either. Appreciate the journey, and relish in each moment of it. These are the times that you will look back on when you finally do reach that goal and feel proud about. Own your progress and let it continue to inspire you.

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4. Know that you are absolutely stunning and rare. There is no other woman in the world, in the universe, who is exactly you. You might have a sister who looks like you, or even a twin, but even she is not YOU. You’ve been created for a very special and unique destiny. You were handcrafted exactly the way you are and you are the most rare and precious gem around. Revel in that unique and stunning beauty. Take a good fifteen quiet minutes to look at yourself in the mirror. Look at every beautiful part of you. Every woman is beautiful and special, but it is up to her accept it. It might be hard to do at first, but if you remind yourself everyday just how amazing you are just by being yourself, you will start to embrace and exude that confidence and stop negative self-talk dead in its tracks.

5. Celebrate small victories (they’re just as important as the big ones!) You may be working on that degree, trying to lose weight, or get that promotion at work, or get that blog started up, and you are hungrily focused on that final goal. But every time you see someone who already has the degree, already lost the weight, already got the promotion, you feel inferior. You wonder if you will ever get there. You feel like everything you’re doing is in vain. But that’s not true! She didn’t get that degree, or lose that weight overnight, and neither will you. In order to stay positive and inspired to achieve your dreams, you must focus and celebrate small victories to remind ourselves that we’re making progress. Every pound lost is a victory. Every time you go to the gym is a victory. Every homework assignment and essay written is a victory. Don’t beat yourself for not getting it all done the moment you’ve decided to begin this journey. Think positive thoughts and pat yourself on the back for all your hard work, it most certainly WILL pay off!

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Self-doubt, insecurity and inferiority are not helping you get any closer to your goal; it’s only hindering you. There are enough outside forces that want to tear you down, don’t let yourself be one of those forces, too. You are a Queen, and you should yourself as such. Be radiant. Be ravishing. Be regal.

 I Want to Know:

  • Was this helpful for you?
  • Is there anything I missed on this list?
  • What insecurities and self-doubts do you feel like you constantly battle?